No „NO“ accepted – and the critic not being able to take advice

It took me a third of my life to come to a point where I have an allergic reaction to the word “NO”. For an ambitious person there is no place for the one word in the alphabet that limits itself from front to back.

Here is my experience and how I want you to show up for your goals.

From really beneficial to absolutely destructive

“NO, I do not want this anymore.”

“NO, this is not for me.”

“NO thanks, I’ve had enough.”

When we use “NO” to speak about ourselves and set our own boundaries, it is powerful, healthy and absolutely necessary.

It becomes destructive when people use the word “NO” about others, projecting their own limits to onto someone else.

A pattern I know too well

Here’s a situation I’ve experienced many times:

I have an idea about my art, my future, my path. I’m excited because in my head it unfolds perfectly. I proudly present this idea to someone I admire.

The first word I hear is:

“NO. You can’t do that.

This will not work.

No one has done it before, it’s impossible.

It is dangerous.

It is not for you.

You are not good enough.

You do not have the experience.

You do not have the knowledge.

You do not have the money.

You do not have the resources…”

The list of what I supposedly don’t have is long.

What happened to me then: I shrank. And I believed them.

It often came from people I respected, which made it even harder, because of course, at first, I trusted their judgment.

With time I understood 2 things:

1. It took me much longer that it could have to dig myself out of the fog of disbelief – but in the end, I did it anyway. And not surprisingly: it always worked out.

2. When I share an idea and the first word I hear is “NO”, I radically stop listening. I understand that everything that follows comes from their mind, their fears, their limitations – and that’s exactly where it should stay.

“Lilee, You’re Not Able to Take Advice”

I hear that sometimes and the thing is, people who come from a place of growth would never lead with “NO”.

From one amibitous person to another, the only real way to connect is through uplift and support.

What Support Actually Sounds Like:

We replace the “NO” with a “YES AND”.

It is as simple as that.

When you tell me about your idea, I’ll respond:

“YES, omg, that’s genius! AND here’s what you can think about to make it happen.”

When you tell me an idea I might not fully believe in yet, I’ll say:

“YES, I can see where you’re coming from, AND knowing this about you, maybe you could also consider this and this to achieve it.”

I want you to achieve.

Always remember who you are and who you want to become. Give yourself something that reminds you of that every single day.

Have a look at my available artworks to anchor your vision in something you can see and feel – or drop into my email to request a custom statement mural tailored to you and your business.